Guilt

Every since I've been a stay-at-home mom the guilt never goes away. First I felt guilty of not spending as much time with my little guy as I wanted to because I was working. Now I feel guilty of not being able to entertain him.

The first two to three weeks of being unemployed I did no house work, none! I didn't even cook dinner for the hubs. I wanted and I spent as much time with my little guys as I could...making up for the loss time. Then I realized that the fairy godmother never showed up to clean my house, that meant that I had to have a system in place. Now that there's a system, I feel guilty of not being able to entertain or play with my little guy like I used to and would want to. Dishes need to be done, beds need to be made, laundry needs to be done and dinner needs to be cooked. I know that my little guy needs to learn how to entertain him self, it's good for him to learn how to play on his own...once his new sibling comes {no I'm not pregnant}.

Still the guilt gets to me every time. There are times that I've had to log on to the internet for something, there are times that I'm not feeling so good and there are times that I just feel like hanging around and doing nothing. I feel like I'm ignoring him, I feel like I'm taking him for granted.

Yes, I do try to sit here and read a magazine or a book or just browse through my favorite blogs online. I can't do it, I just can't. That's probably why I'm so exhausted in the mornings, because I'm up till 1 maybe 2 in the morning trying to finish my magazines, read at least a chapter on my books and quickly browse through the internet.

I'm also afraid that once I go back to working that I will regret not spending this whole time with my little guy and I know that will make it very hard to leave him in the morning. I know that he's gotten used to me being around all the time, so there will be two of us hurting.

So any advice? I would think that after two months, I would have been ok by now; but I'm not.

{due to the protection of my son, I will refer to him as either my little guy, little man or the munchkin}.